I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
