Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
