I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
