Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
