You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
