you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
