We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish I only lived at night.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
