don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The air was thick with penises
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
