i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
