her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
