Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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