I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish you could order shots online.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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