your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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