Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
