Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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