P.S. I can't hear my feet
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
