i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
