yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
