imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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