let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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