4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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