I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
