You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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