What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
