Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
