we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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