I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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