My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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