careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
