My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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