Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
