Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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