it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
