Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
