I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
