That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize