And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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