having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
