new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
