At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
