with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you would pick up someone in the library
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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