You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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