I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
