I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
