Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The uberlube is also flammable
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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