sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
