I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
