Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
