I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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