if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
