gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
